Year: 2023

Time to under-think

HarkrishanLeave a comment

When I started this blog, my goal was life lessons. I imagined writing about things that happened to me. Realizations that turned out to be revelations would feel relatable to my readers. It was a good way of looking at it for a while. But somewhere along the road, my idea of what I could post on here shifted.

I would write entire drafts but would feel like the message wasn’t good enough. Good enough for what, I’m not sure. Sometimes I would write my heart out after a horrible day and feel like I was inflicting my woes on the world and leave it in the drafts folder. Imagine putting a standard on the kind of days you have which decided if they were good enough to share or not. Like you needed to have just the right kind of bad day to get an interesting lesson out of it. A ridiculous notion, I have now found.

The problem is over-thinking. Everything. It is so easy to get caught in the cycle of over-thinking – things from little interactions to what someone means when they respond with “ok.” For me personally, I frequently end up imagining how I’ve made this person feel and how they tailored their acknowledgement (their “ok”) to a true reflection of what they think about me. Another ridiculous notion. 

In the natural way of things, too much thinking should be countered with little thinking or under-thinking. Take this blog, for instance. The amount of time spent wondering if a post was “right”, was time I could’ve spent posting something every week. What does it matter if everything isn’t perfectly balanced? It’s only a blog and I’m not trying to save the world here. Just write for myself and create something with my name to it. No need to over-think it. Just gotta under-think and post about it. 

Human interactions are the same. To wonder the meaning behind each text has little consequence. People may or may not have hidden meanings behind texts and voice tones on the phone. But until you know there’s a problem, why imagine the possibility of one. Under-think, my friend. Under-think the living daylights of some interactions to counter your over-thinking until you find moderation. A balance between the two.

Under-thinking has been a great addition to my life. I am still learning when to use it and when I actually do need to give a thing some thought. I’m sure I will make mistakes. But that’s alright. 

This post isn’t really as organized as I’d like it to be. But that’s alright. I’m sure you won’t mind ^^

To question or not to question

Harkrishan2 Comments

To question something often comes with negative connotations. In traditional families in my culture, questioning those elder to you was often seen as a sign of great disrespect. Their decisions were to be assumed as correct whether you liked them or not. The head of the family would say something and that was it. Everyone would comply. Sounds a bit like the Godfather, if you ask me.

In the scientific world, to question a theory from all angles and perspectives is the only way of proving its validity. We were taught theorems and formulae that worked no matter what the variables were. On any given day, you could look into the news and you’ll see articles on scientists disproving theories because someone found a new way of looking at it. Pluto just stopped being a planet one day!

But as people just living their regular lives, questioning things can be a mixed bag of implications depending on the subject of your questioning. Asking questions before financial decisions is good, but questioning someone’s intentions can be construed as rude. And we wouldn’t want to be rude, now would we?

As a kid, I remember asking questions like why does the moon follow the car as we drive to store? Why do I feel pins and needles in my feet every once in a while? But as an adult, I sometimes ask myself, 

"Why am I doing this?"
"Do I still enjoy reading?"
"Should I have said something?"

These are questions that are easier not to ask. Ignorance is bliss and not brewing such questions over saves us the need to examine things that *should* or *are supposed to* be right. Take me, for instance. I don't read nearly as much as I used to. Am I still an avid reader? That's low fruit on the tree of questions you can ask but I'm not about to get into questioning career and life choices in this post. That's for you to indulge in at your own leisure.

I’ve found that such questions are deeply important. I find myself questioning decisions, relationships, religion and, yes even my desire to read every now and then. And while it sounds like a tiresome existence full of doubts, it’s brings a sense of certainty. It is not a life spent worrying about everything, but rather knowing that should things change, should I change – I will be conscious of it. Because I will ask why today feels different than yesterday. And my answer will provide some semblance of a path ahead.

It is almost a lifestyle – to question things. But, on a more sad note, I have known people who don’t question their behaviours or words. Who go through life not wondering if they might be wrong. Their ignorance is bliss for them alone. For those around them, it is a stark reminder of the cost of not taking a look at yourself and asking a few questions.

Coffee, cotton balls or nothing

Harkrishan1 Comment

Today, I’m thinking about how so much of what constitutes as our emotions and attitudes is self-imposed. If you find someone in an angry mood, it’s because they’ve chosen to be angry. The world did not decide to make events occur to invoke their wrath on this particular day. Whatever makes someone angry is just an experience. Someone may have yelled at them or rear ended them or bumped into them spilling their vanilla bean frappuccino (is that a thing?). And they responded by being angry.

I once read this analogy which explains it really well. Imagine you are walking with a hot cup of coffee and someone bumps into you. Your nice shirt is ruined and all thanks to the person who bumped into you, right? Think on this, what if you were carrying cotton balls in a cup instead? Imagine that same scene again. Not as messy of a situation, if you ask me. You could just pick them up and keep on going. Take a last run at the scene, what if your cup was empty? What then?

People bumping into us is life. What we keep in our cup ready to spill out is up to us. It can be hot coffee. It can be cotton balls. Or it could be nothing.

I suppose the question then becomes what do each of us carry in our cups?

Food for thought.