Category: Introspection

Help wanted

HarkrishanLeave a comment

There is so much to do. So much that’s coming in the next few weeks. On evenings like the one I’m having right now, the sea of tasks ahead can seem daunting. And if there’s one thing I know for sure, I can’t go it alone.

When I was kid, circumstances made me feel like I would go most of life alone. It’s a terrible feeling. Knowing that no matter what the end is like, you might have to make the journey alone. That you would have to console yourself in hard times, heal yourself in rough patches and pick yourself up at every fall. I know its probably not impossible. I’ve seen John Wick. Unfortunately, I am not a man of focus, commitment and sheer will.

I am a man who just finished a large pizza and has a pile of work he ignored because he was too busy enjoying himself a bit too much over Reading Week. To be fair, I did “read” several chapters from a very good book that was not at all about Heat & Mass Transfer or Control Systems. So, here I sit on a Sunday night blogging about everything that’s wrong. But, believe it or not, this is helping me. I write about things that bother me or stress me out; I always have. Somehow, I feel that if I can put my doubts and fear into words, I gain a certain power over them (doesn’t have to make sense to you).

But the most incredible thing is that I didn’t think to do this. Not until a friend (much wiser than I) told me I should.

That’s what I needed. Help. And I think that’s what we all need if we want to make it out safe and sound to the other side. I think we need to make our peace with the fact that we will need to ask for help every now and then. To that end, I am lucky enough to have a few people who have never let me down. People who always respond when I need them to. Folks that tell me they believe in me. And I think that’s the only reason I am where I am. Mind you, I haven’t achieved much in life yet but I’m still here and I’m still kicking.

Bottom line. We all need help sometimes and I’m glad to have people around who have risen to the occasion every single time. I hope I have the strength to do the same for them.

When its my turn…

Harkrishan2 Comments

About a week ago, I turned 22. We all say things like “Where did the time go?” and “Time flies”. Because it really does. I, for one, vividly remember a scene nearly 13 years ago when I first entered boarding school. Or a scene four years ago when I started at the University of Guelph. And as I look back and think about those days, one thought jumps out at me.

They were easier times.

As I get older, the pile of things I need to know about or be careful about or be responsible for just keeps on rising. Everyday, I learn that now I am old enough to start bring responsible about something new. And its scary.

See, I was raised by two incredible people who never let me realize just how hard they worked. I never realized all the “adult” things they had to take care of before coming home in the evening and having dinner or watching TV with us. I never realized that as they laughed at one of my jokes or even just helped me with my homework, their heads probably swam with a hundred other things that they had to take care of. Honestly, it scares me that someday I’ll have to do it. That eventually or maybe even suddenly, that mantle will be passed on to the next generation. And then it’ll be our turn. Will I be as good at it as they are? This thought is on my mind night and day. Times like birthdays or New Years remind me about how quickly its all passing by. And how very soon we’ll find ourselves filling shoes that seem too big for us right now.

I usually try and answer things in my posts but today I am typing just to get all of these scary thoughts out of head and onto my screen. Maybe some of you reading this have gone through this or are going through this. I don’t know how it’s going to be, honestly. But I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes.

What really counts

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Today as I walked past a house, I saw an old man carrying a big bag full of flyers and sticking them into mailboxes as he went. Honestly, I didn’t know the process could be done so incredibly fast and with such efficiency.

As I walked past him, I couldn’t help but admire this man. It was nothing to do with his work or his age at which he was accomplishing it. It was the skill and efficiency he employed. It was absolutely remarkable. And that brings me to the point of this little post.

Working hard or efficiently has absolutely nothing to do with what you’re doing. One cannot say that he cannot be efficient because he is doing a simple or an ordinary task. The root of efficiency, I have learned, is simply doing something long enough to recognize possible obstacles, and to weed them proactively to get the job done.

As I work for my current coop work term, I act as an intern. And often a lot of work I do has nothing to do with engineering or is just a basic task. But if I do it enough I’m able to figure out better ways to do it. And in the end, I’m better for it.

There is a Latin quote, “Sic Parvis Magna” and it loosely translates to “greatness from small beginnings”. If you’ve ever played Unchartered 4, you probably know of this quote, but hear what I make of it in the context of this post.

Most of us start small. We kick our work lives off with internships, summer jobs or small temp positions. We even kick off semesters with a few classes that are obvious and boring. And a lot of times, we choose not to give our everything because we think of our actions as small or mere transitions to greater and bigger things. But greater and bigger things are built of so many small things. And how are we to ever reach the top of the mountain if we start lazy and hope to pick up our momentum somewhere down a road that only gets harder?

In a single sentence now.

No matter how small the task or your beginning, give it your absolute everything. Everyday. And that’s what really counts.