Category: Introspection

To be human

HarkrishanLeave a comment 
to bear necessary struggle with
discomfort etched in each moment
to sleep away today's defeat and
dream of miracles tomorrow

to harbour love for the world but
detest at your own shadow
to look outward scrambling for
fear of looking inwards

to survive ordeals and trials with
all the courage mustered
to engrave harsh lessons on inner walls so 
they may bear tomorrow's winds

to travel far; weather your soul as
what's left behind aches
to look back, ahead and within; not
knowing which path beckons loudest

to seek a heart that beats in
a way close to your own
to dread failing fragile bonds that
bind souls and journeys alike

to question ones existence through
sun, rain, cloud and dark
to be human in every moment yet
forget that truth time and time again

Peace in your battles

HarkrishanLeave a comment

It’s been a while but today I am thinking about peace. And how we get to it.

Have you ever looked at someone and wondered how they’re keeping it together when you’re falling apart? In our relentless pursuit towards success, a job, financial goals and whatnot, how do we find peace? When do we find peace?

The battles we face are never-ending. You will never have everything entirely sorted exactly how you want it. If you did, honestly there wouldn’t be anything to live for. But lucky for us, we do have our battles. With school, work, friends, family, health or even with ourselves. And don’t be fooled, that person who you think is doing so well, is facing something too. They aren’t perfect and if you wish you could have their life, it would simply replace your battles, not put an end to them.

So where does peace fit in all this?

If you ask me, right in the middle. Of every battle. Of every week. Of every day.

You have to find peace in your battles.

I sometimes look at everything that is going on and my to-do lists. Daily lists and life goals list. And I just put them down and take a walk. I get tired of waiting for battles to end and peace to come, so I create it when I need it. And yes, I could spend that time continuing to struggle so I can finish sooner or do better. But, what is the point? I’m never going to be done.

So, you either sit around waiting for a 2-day break between work projects when you can hike, eat or hang out or you find peace within those battles. I see it as separating yourself from your conflict. You are not your conflicts. What happens in the world around you is merely happening to you. It is not you. This is perhaps one the most liberating thoughts I have ever come across. In the midst of a bad week, it helps me find peace. Peace to me is reading, walking, volunteering at Toastmasters and catching up with those I care about.

Here’s a simple example – going to sleep. How often do you go to sleep stressed because of how your day went? Or thinking about all the work you have to do tomorrow? Feel free to lie to me, but respect yourself enough to admit it internally. And how does that help? You carry your battles to bed and it affects how much you sleep, how well you sleep and overall, your health. In carrying on with your battles at a time meant for peace, you harm your capacity to continue the struggle tomorrow.

Peace isn’t what you’re fighting for. It’s not the end result and it’s not your trophy for finishing first. Rather, it can be your path once it is ingrained in your process. So find peace in your battles. In your weeks. In your days.

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

Buddha

For whom?

HarkrishanLeave a comment

Today, I am in search of clarity. I am struggling with something fundamental – the balance between living for myself and living for others. My search for this balance. And my desperate hope that this balance exists.

We come into this world all loud and fussy. And then we find our people; who raise us in the best ways they can. Sometimes it isn’t much and sometimes it’s a whole lot. And we grow up and learn things in ways that seem best to those who bring us into this world. But, after a certain point you become your own person, or at least I hope everyone does.

To me, the world looks the way it does because of how I choose to look at it. I nurture interests, passions, ideas, plans, timelines as I go along. I try and hold up a compass of my own making to see what feels right and what doesn’t. And though I am blessed with family, mentors and supporters, I am still trying to forge my own path. I want to gravitate towards the things I love. Not just to make time for them, but to build my life around them. To make them what my life is all about.

But every now and then crossroads emerge and choices are put in front of me. The one I am thinking about right now is of that sort.

Being my own person is important to me. Honouring my calling, what makes me happy and who makes me happy – they all fall under being my own person. These are acts that originate from me and may or may not receive the support or blessing of those I consider my supporters. But, I also see the importance in giving back to those who have given to me. I do this by valuing their opinions, their advice and their wishes.

But what do I do when these two appear as a fork in my road? What do I do when I must choose between what I want and what is expected of me?

To live for oneself is a wondrous notion, but to do so at the expense of opposing/rejecting what is expected of you is an equally abhorrent one. I wish I could have both of these align in all the choices that I make but I realize that such a utopia is not yet here. I am of this world and I must live in it.

While this isn’t an answer, this is what I have for you.

We cannot make everyone happy. And we cannot return everything that was bestowed on us by walking a path that isn’t our own. That would dishonour the efforts of those who raise us. We can only hope to find our path and have faith that those closest to us will see it as the best we are capable of.