Tag: covid

Change

Harkrishan3 Comments

I used to think – “I don’t want to change.”

I liked myself as a kid. I liked being a kid. No responsibilities, care-free days and mostly, home-cooked meals. But then I grew up and went off to school in Canada. The world around me changed – the place, the people and the food. And I had to change with it. But, I told myself that I hadn’t really changed. That when I went back home, everyone would still recognize me as the same old brother or son or friend. It was scary to think that something would change me and someone close to me wouldn’t recognize me anymore.

Over the past year, I have been working on myself. On my behaviours, my routine, my inner thoughts and how they manifest in my conversations and interactions with people. I am also being mindful of my healing processes. There is much that has happened against what seemed like the flow of the world. We are changing what’s normal and in doing so, we’re trying to figure out what our new flow is and how it all works, But I am not writing about COVID today. I am writing about change.

As I aim to transform myself into a more mindful individual, more questions about change come up.

Am I changing too much? Will I become too different? Do I want to change?

After some thought, here is what I’ve come up with. The idea behind taking up healthier practises and trying to be more mindful is to improve your way of life as a person. Since I’ve started meditating, I find myself going into the rest of my day with a clear(er) head. Reflections allow me to evaluate my conversations with people. And of course, introspecting about difficult days and hurtful conversations helps me understand how and why I approach things.

Often times, we think of healing as a process that takes us back to our original state. But consider this. If you have ever worked through a difficult period in your life and consider yourself healed, are you back to your original unhurt state? Can you ever go back to the point where that hurt or trauma had never entered in your life? No. You carry the hurt and the recovery forward with you and it shapes you.

Some say change is a constant. It will occur whether you want it to or not. COVID was a big change but if it hadn’t occurred smaller changes would still happen everyday. As I invoke certain practises in my daily routines, I bring about change. This is not inflicted change, rather it is controlled change. Change of my own making, so to say. I choose to bring about positive changes by taking baby steps towards meditation and mindfulness.

I also think of the worldly changes that happen in our lives. The ones we can’t control. Like friends who choose to stop reaching back or family members who make selfish decisions. When your school shifts online and you suddenly have to change everything about your mode of learning. When you find yourself feeling silly for having put so much into a one-sided relationship. All these are changes we don’t control. And I have found that when I experience these un-controllable situations, my personal changes come to the rescue.

Meditation, mindfulness and reflections help me find the way forward by looking inward. These changes that I choose to bring to my life, work to balance the uncontrolled ones that are flung at me. And that answers my questions. I change a little bit every day but I control the real change in my life. I give it direction and allow it to take me where I would like to go.

So, no, I am not changing too much. And, yes, I will become different but from the changes of my own making. And most importantly, yes I do wish to change. I wish to grow and find new ways to live a more mindful life. I’ve answered my own questions, and I’d like to ask you one as I conclude this post,

If change is a constant, wouldn’t you rather it fundamentally came from within you?

P.S. I hope you all stay safe. Wear masks in public areas. Check up on friends and family. Take care of yourselves folks!

As it is

HarkrishanLeave a comment

Change is the only constant. I miss the days when this meant simpler things like transitioning from high school to university or finally moving out of your parents house to start a new life of your own. Such changes are so common that we’ve made our peace with them. We know that they must happen and only a handful try to resist these natural changes.

When it was my time to leave home, I made peace with the fact that it was an important change for me. I was to gain an education, learn to be independent and start my journey. Keeping all these things in mind, I went with the flow and let the waters take me where they may. I’ll admit, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows but then, change never is. We just need to accept it, the good and bad included. Now, this was an example of a change we all look forward to. I know that someday I’ll move from being a student to a working individual. I might re-locate in the course of a job. And after a few decades of service, I’ll retire. These are all changes that we can anticipate and often prepare for. And once you make those transitions, you simply be at peace with the happenings and let the waters flow as they may.

But what about those unprecedented changes we can’t see coming? A pandemic, maybe?

How is the world supposed to cope with everything that has happened? I won’t go on to list all the things that aren’t the same, but we all have some idea of what these are. These were the changes we never saw coming. But now they’re here. I can’t fly home for the summer. And it’s inconvenient and downright unfair. I have half a mind to rant and rage against everything that isn’t what it used to be. Some might even advocate to bring life back to what used to be “normal”. Somewhere in my heart, though, I know that this might be the new normal. The change has happened and our minds want us to fight the flow because it’s all new un-chartered territory.

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.

Wayne Dyer

I think it’s time we stopped resisting and waiting for things to go back to normal. I’m tired of being angry at a virus. This is what it is. Just go with the flow.

Keep Going

Harkrishan3 Comments

Lives change every day. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Someone wins the lottery and someone fails to pay a loan. Someone gets into their dream school and someone is fired from a dream job. Someone welcomes new life into their family and someone unexpectedly loses one they always thought they’d have more time with. Lives change everyday.

In a world of flux, as we walk down the street we see many faces but that’s all we see. We can’t see the good or the bad someone is going through. But we all have hard times, don’t we? Times when we still wake up, brush our teeth and go about our day but also have to deal with rough hands we’ve been dealt. Because time goes on. The world doesn’t stop just because you stumbled and scraped your knee. It moves on and so must you. And in this, we are often alone. But not this time.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know how things are with COVID-19. In some way or the other, I’m sure you’ve been affected too. If you’re lucky, you get to stay home and carry on with life indoors. But there are those that are tasked with being on the front lines and are dealing with this crisis head on. And there are also those who are sick and don’t know what fate has in store for them. Lives change everyday. This time, we’ve all been chosen to go through the same trial.

In such daunting and uncertain times, I think back to a line I heard on TV sometime ago – “No matter how hard things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer”

I’m going through a rough patch myself right now (not COVID related). I am also going through COVID isolation with the rest of the world. Sadly, new burdens don’t make the old ones disappear. They just add on to the weight we are tasked to carry. But try keep those words in mind. You get to choose how you respond to these times. Some will choose to close their eyes and tuck their heads in and wait for things to get better. And some will rise to the occasion and give us the strength to keep going.

I’m not asking you to not be a coward. I’m also not asking you to be a hero. I’m asking you to simply keep going. And if the road gets dark and you start to feel scared, do what I do. Sing.