Tag: Introspection

What say you

HarkrishanLeave a comment

Most days I can sum up my existence as how I respond to what happens.

And it’s fairly straightforward sometimes – smile when I see my dogs, laugh when my wife is being goofy, nervous when work is super busy and excited on Friday evenings for the weekend.

I suppose those are your basic responses to recurring events.

But then there’s the more complicated happenings of the world, which require responses beyond the usual or logical. Like when a friend breaks your heart. Or you discover a deep anxiety that leaves you scrambling. Or during friction in relationships caused by two people just being different.

These are the big leagues. And your responses become important. They determine the future of a relationship with someone else. And often, affect your relationship with yourself.

Responses in these situations are not just verbal. But your actions, inaction, silence or, if you are of the sort, your volume; all count as responses.

So what do you say? Or as they once put it – what say you?

I’m obviously not going to provide a one answer solution to all earthly situations.

But I suppose we could consider what a response needs. Let’s start simple – thought. We need to think about what we say before we say it. Words like many stores, have a no-return policy. You are much better off taking time to think or better yet, asking for time to think about your response. If your response is to a person, it shows you care enough about them to consider your words. 

A second important one would be – truth. Will you be honest or will you lie? I’ll leave this one alone, as grey areas are highly situational. But truth is preferable, I am told by many.

While there’s many things to consider, I’ll cap it at three – perspective. Try to think from many sides. Other shoes can be too small or too big, and you don’t need to walk a mile. But try them on for a moment, just to see what it looks like for them.

Okay this one is too important to miss – so I’ll leave it at four. Values. I sincerely hope you are someone with values, some sort of a code. Not complicated, but important I’ve found. Like an inner compass. Your responses to what life throws at you, have to align with who you are as a person. I guess this can be summed up as – be yourself. I say this in the hopes you are a good person, so this one is on you.

I feel like I’ve gone deeper than usual, but I’m finding my way back to writing, so take what you will and leave the rest ^^

In closing, I’ll say this. Whatever you do or say, sometimes it may feel like it won’t matter. And yeah, if the sun explodes later today, I suppose it won’t. But until that time, as you and I live our lives, we do so holding hands with the consequences of our actions. It’s not about always doing or saying the correct thing. That’s unrealistic.

No, it’s about who you choose to be everyday. And how every decision, weaves the fabric of you!

To question or not to question

Harkrishan2 Comments

To question something often comes with negative connotations. In traditional families in my culture, questioning those elder to you was often seen as a sign of great disrespect. Their decisions were to be assumed as correct whether you liked them or not. The head of the family would say something and that was it. Everyone would comply. Sounds a bit like the Godfather, if you ask me.

In the scientific world, to question a theory from all angles and perspectives is the only way of proving its validity. We were taught theorems and formulae that worked no matter what the variables were. On any given day, you could look into the news and you’ll see articles on scientists disproving theories because someone found a new way of looking at it. Pluto just stopped being a planet one day!

But as people just living their regular lives, questioning things can be a mixed bag of implications depending on the subject of your questioning. Asking questions before financial decisions is good, but questioning someone’s intentions can be construed as rude. And we wouldn’t want to be rude, now would we?

As a kid, I remember asking questions like why does the moon follow the car as we drive to store? Why do I feel pins and needles in my feet every once in a while? But as an adult, I sometimes ask myself, 

"Why am I doing this?"
"Do I still enjoy reading?"
"Should I have said something?"

These are questions that are easier not to ask. Ignorance is bliss and not brewing such questions over saves us the need to examine things that *should* or *are supposed to* be right. Take me, for instance. I don't read nearly as much as I used to. Am I still an avid reader? That's low fruit on the tree of questions you can ask but I'm not about to get into questioning career and life choices in this post. That's for you to indulge in at your own leisure.

I’ve found that such questions are deeply important. I find myself questioning decisions, relationships, religion and, yes even my desire to read every now and then. And while it sounds like a tiresome existence full of doubts, it’s brings a sense of certainty. It is not a life spent worrying about everything, but rather knowing that should things change, should I change – I will be conscious of it. Because I will ask why today feels different than yesterday. And my answer will provide some semblance of a path ahead.

It is almost a lifestyle – to question things. But, on a more sad note, I have known people who don’t question their behaviours or words. Who go through life not wondering if they might be wrong. Their ignorance is bliss for them alone. For those around them, it is a stark reminder of the cost of not taking a look at yourself and asking a few questions.

A gift!

Harkrishan1 Comment

It is 7:24am. I have been awake since 4am. I have a midterm at 1pm and I have another one at 4.

It’s gonna be a long day ahead.

I often find myself in situations where I’m maybe 15% through a long day’s work and already wondering how I’m going to get anything done. So what do I do? I roll around in bed wondering why my life is so hard life. I picture all my friends doing their third revisions as I learn concepts for the first time. And finally, I blog about it.

As efficient and well-thought-out as this process sounds, it’s really not. But today, half-way through my early morning introspection session, I wondered why I’m wasn’t scared of the two midterms I have today. Theoretically speaking, I should. They count as a part of my grade and I’m more than a little behind on my work. But I don’t feel anxious or scared to write them.

I find this feeling to be a gift.

I am lying in bed, relaxed, comfortable and typing this blog when I should be studying because I refuse to let this long day get the best of me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not avoiding my studies. Nor am I criticizing those who are already well-prepared. I am simply fine with my current state of being.

Now, this comes at a price, of course. I will need to study very diligently for the next 4.5 hours. Probably, I might not do as well as I could have. But, I am blessed with the ability to stay calm on before a long hard day knowing I will make it. I see my colleagues study all the time. They ask me questions about concepts I haven’t gotten to. And as I fail to answer them, they feel scared for me. And then go back to preparing for battle.

I could do the same. Actually, I can’t. I do not have the physical or mental capacity to push myself over the edge for an exam. Maybe because grades are not my idea of achieving something. Therefore, I am unburdened by the pressure to constantly fuss over every percentage and free to learn at my own pace. By the grace of a higher power, I am blessed with a family that understands this feeling.

Now, this blog isn’t an excuse for poor grades. I usually end up doing okay and quite well, sometimes. But I am gifted. Gifted with the ability to stay calm in the face of a storm. And so far, I’ve always come up on the other side safe, sound and proud of myself.