I’m going to do something very different today. If you’ve been reading my work in the past, you have some idea of what I write about. You know it’s usually introspections or lessons from life. Today, it’s a cautionary tale.

Most days and most posts, I’m just hoping what I write helps someone a little. Today, I’m hoping you actually listen to me.

It is about social media. And how things have gone too far.

I’ll start off by saying that I am completely off Instagram & Facebook. I left Tiktok years ago. That is it. I’m cut off and have been for some months now. A few months ago, I found myself increasingly scrolling through reels and shorts, sometimes for multiple hours a day. It was small chunks here and there – and there was always some funny or interesting post/reel that I would send friends hoping they would either laugh or be amazed as I was. That was the innocent bit, I used to tell myself.

What I didn’t tell myself, what most of these apps and algorithms are incapable of telling you… Is what a mind-numbing drain they are on our attention spans and our ability to actually perceive the world around us. Most people on social media have become incapable of keeping achievements or life events to themselves. Posting content lets hundreds of people instantly find out exactly what’s going on in your life, regardless of whether you’re close to them all or not.

Having a peaceful day by a lake or being out on a walk is no longer enough, until our followers on Instagram know that we’re having a peaceful day. Some can’t enjoy a day out without wondering what the best picture is that encapsulates just how great a day it was. And if you’re telling yourself that you don’t think so much about it, and just post whatever comes to mind, that’s even worse. Because you’re mindlessly conforming. Doing something because either it’s what you’ve always done or because it’s what everyone does.

Maybe you do it mindfully or for your job or you have a positive attitude towards social media and have your usage well in check. Well, I don’t know what that’s like.

The point being, our life and the joy it brings us doesn’t seem enough until we’ve posted about it. A good day isn’t a good day till everyone who follows us knows it was a good day. I think about all the useful advice and interesting content on the occasional reel or short. I considered starting a new account so the algorithm would recognized my interests and filter out the garbage. But I’ve decided against that. I don’t believe that you should have to consciously filter out the vast and ever increasing amount of useless content out there, just to stumble across the occasional helpful bit of content.

What was the last time you watched an hour-long documentary or talk on a topic that genuinely interests you? Maybe I’m being a pessimist, but if you have, I’d say you’re beating the odds. I feel as if most brains have been rewired to not care about anything spanning over 2 minutes or less. If someone sends you a 15 minute video, even on a topic that you care about, how often do you set 15 minutes aside to watch it? Now compare it with the last time you spent 15 minutes just scrolling, and whether you’re consciously decided to do that. Or whether it was just muscle memory and little hits of content lasting 10-30 seconds, doing their job of shorting out your attention span. Because that’s genuinely what it’s doing.

Here’s where it gets scarier for me. In the world of Big Tech and social media and algorithms and now artificial intelligence, no corporation or tech leader, is unaware of this. And yet no one will ever pull back. We are constantly plunging into a deeper and deeper pit where they want to know more about you, so they can refine your experiences. Because more user engagement is more money for them. The deeper they have their algorithmic hooks into you, the more time you “enjoy” spending on their platforms, the better for them. And saying something that’s more judgmental than I think I’ve ever been, all people get out of it is distracting them from their own lives. Tiktok trends like someone “spitting on that thang” becomes something that lingers on millions of users devices for months. I mean we’ve done some pretty stupid things in human history. Most of them in the last 500 years. But more and more in the last 5 years.

The over dependence and overuse of these platforms and the content they offer, is pushing entire generations into altered behaviors and ever-changing new social standards. A child who isn’t on social media today is the pariah because they wouldn’t get half the references that kids around would be making. If you’re not on social media, dinner conversation about the latest trends is just you nodding while other people talk enthusiastically about it. Children are incapable of making memories that aren’t associated with the most popular trends. Children are incapable of being bored. Occupying their lives with never-ending content is short circuiting their development.

And how many people are cautioning children about the internet? How many kids genuinely learn that it can affect their personality? How many would be willing to give it up? To give up their perceived idea of social standing to actually experience the world the way it is; not the way some billion dollar industry thinks it should be.

Take advertisements. Almost every platform that serves content makes money because sellers want their products advertised. They make more money from consumers who pay extra not to see those ads. I was watching a movie on Prime the other day and it said “this movie is brought to you with limited interruptions” and it was just one more straw in how oblivious we’ve become. “Limited interruptions?” As compared to what? Just unlimitedly interrupting a service I’m ALREADY paying for. Imagine if your barber said $25 for the haircut. And $30 if you didn’t want limited interruptions where they tell you about their banks amazing credit card benefits every 10 minutes. The fact that some accept this as part of life and move on staggers me.

And if you made it this far and are thinking, well this guy’s obviously thinking too much and needs to just relax. I can tell you that I was relaxed for too long. And then I realized, that being numb to this constantly changing online world is not the same as being relaxed.

Being relaxed is knowing that when I travel, the only people who need to know about it are the ones who care to ask or reach out regularly. Doesn’t matter that it’s four or five people. To me, being relaxed is knowing that regardless of whatever schemes some billionaire cooks up in their living room tomorrow, I’m out. It relaxes me to that when the world is out there walking with AI glasses on their noses paying to not have virtual advertisements pop in front of their face, I’ll be shaking my head because there’s a very small chance what I’m writing today will change anyone’s mind.

It’s been a long time since I’ve cared about something so much to be vocal about it. Someday I might have a family and a young person that I’m responsible for. I am resisting against industries that have poured billions of dollars into keeping us hooked to their platforms. But I truly believe in the negative impact they have on society, especially on young minds.

I used to think about what legacies meant. What carries on after you’re gone. Now I sincerely hope to be forgotten by all except a handful. Because the polarity and size of the internet guarantee that nothing meaningful will ever come from it.

I hope to limit my interactions to the physical world. I hope to teach my child someday that their value and true meaning comes from their acts in the physical world. That there is enough out there they can touch and mould. That their minds weren’t made to be constantly distracted but rather utilized. That it will be hard to be different and to stick out. But hopefully they know moments of peace and calm that so many have unknowingly given up on.

Because every time someone refreshes their screen, there is something new to pull them away from themselves. I’m scared but hopeful. And I hope I changed your mind today. If not, maybe I’ll write more. Maybe you’ll come back and re-read this. Regardless, you are the only person that can save yourself.

Godspeed.